From Addict to Abstinence

Image by @nataliekovalphotography

Why am I engaging in a behavior that clearly isn’t serving me? Is it really making me happy or am I trying to avoid the deeper work it takes to grow up and become myself?

During my late teens and early twenties, I used sex as an escape and an elaborate game I played every time I didn’t want to face whatever was going on in my reality. It was something I turned to when the discomfort or sadness I was experiencing threatened to overwhelm me. For years I was addicted to the thrill of the chase; the cheap stimulation of my ego when a new guy showed interest in me and the momentary reprieve these encounters offered me from the incessant murmurings of my mind.

I got myself into situations and relationships that weren’t good for me and it’s a miracle I only have a few emotional scars to remind me of what I put myself through all those years. Having come out the other side, I want to do everything in my power to show girls - just like you! - how to cultivate an identity and sense of self-worth within rather than seeking it without.

At twenty two, I challenged myself to have a whole year of abstinence.

Sex is just one example of the many ways we seek temporary highs in the absence of inner peace - over-eating, binge-drinking, social media scrolling, serial dating, over-achieving - it’s all surface stuff, and it doesn’t leave us satisfied, it leaves us starving. Whatever you use to escape when real life gets too much - whether it’s drinking, sex, drugs, food or shopping - just know that it doesn’t define you who are.

Your ability to give and receive love is in no way affected by whatever happened to you or because of you and the sooner you realize that you are worthy of endless love and respect, the sooner you can stop chasing it in the physical and open yourself up to receive it from within.

No more sabotaging your own success, no more chasing dangerous, temporary highs and battling the unbearable, inevitable lows. Life doesn’t have to be an emotional roller coaster. You deserve to feel loved, cherished and adored - not just when you do well on an assignment, lose 10kgs or land the perfect guy - but right now.