A Call to Arms; Winning the Battle for Your Own Heart

Part 1: A Call to Arms

The battle between good and evil is a story we’ve seen played out hundreds of times; in books, movies and on TV, but what about the battle that rages every day in the hearts and minds of all human beings? Just like on the big screen, there are opposing forces that are constantly battling for your attention. This all became very apparent to me last week when I began experiencing a depression that had been absent from my life for almost a year. I would wake up with a cloud over my head and the simple joy I have come to know as part of my life seemed to disappear. It was then that a friend introduced me to the concept of spiritual warfare; the battle that exists for the human heart.

It’s called by many names; God versus Satan, the Ego and the Higher self, Fear and Love but it is something each of us will face as we get closer to realising and acting out our life’s true purpose. It will unfold differently for all of us, but for me, it was a 3-pronged assault; the resurfacing of old temptations (and contact from some people in my past), an attack on my joy and a physical illness that left me floored. I was spending a lot of time alone and the conflicted dialogue going on in my head was making it almost impossible not to seek solace in worldly pleasures.

When things like this happen, it’s so easy to give in and slip back into old habits and patterns of destructive behaviour. You start to question the validity of your dreams and if it’s worth holding out for what you really want. The purpose that was so clear in your mind starts to look shaky and uncertain. Old emotions begin to surface, the fear voice kicks in, a situation arises and you find yourself standing on the brink - how many times have I given in and gone sliding back to square one?

This time was different. I was very aware of how pivotal these few weeks were in my emotional and spiritual growth. In the thick of it, I was furious at the Universe for testing me; how dare I face these temptations, can’t you see how hard I’ve worked to cut these people from my life? Don’t you know how much I’ve given up already, and you’re asking for more? I was overwhelmed by loneliness and then overcome by rage. All the progress I had made hung precariously in the balance of my emotional state.

To escape the turmoil of my mind, I went inward. I sat my butt on a meditation cushion and I prayed. The answer came to me - as it often does - in a book I was reading that talked about the battle for the human heart. How the Enemy, fear, the Ego - whatever you want to call it - will try and sabotage us as we begin to fulfil our potential. All the emotional wounds of the past will be dredged up and used against us over and over again and it is how we respond that determines our fate.

When I had come to terms with the concept (ie got it past my bullshit filter) I began to see it - a fierce war being fought in the heavens, and I began to feel it - the assault on my heart, the ransom of my confidence, the dizzying veil of confusion that clouded my thoughts. Almost as soon as I brought it to light, it began to dissipate. It was almost as if I had turned on a light in a dark room but although the shadows had fled, the objects causing them remained. It forced me to examine the weights that were holding me down, tying me to my past and preventing me from moving forward.

God never uses anyone greatly before he tests them deeply.

If you can solve the battles raging in your head, you can bring peace to the conflicts of our world.

I look around and see so many people in a battle and they don’t know how to handle it. They right off unhealthy behaviour as an old habit, a character flaw as just part of their personality, and their pain as just another part of an unfair life. You are worth more than that. Fight for the life you want. The battle makes the reward that much sweeter.

You are not meant to bear that which you find unpleasant, you are meant to change it. That's why you feel it. Your every twitch of pain and malaise invites you to wake up, pushing you to seek grander truths that will reveal a bigger reality and a more magnificent you, ever closer to an awareness of your true place within reality creation - as a Creator.

Mike Dooley

When you feel these attacks; sickness, depression, a lack of motivation, confusion, dizzy spells, think of them as signals from the Universe. Messages saying, Hey, this is something you need to work on if you want to move forward. The Enemy isn’t an external force you can blame for your problems, it’s a part of you that has been neglected, hurt or suppressed and the longer you leave it unaddressed, the stronger it becomes.

Over the next few days, I became immensely grateful for the experience. I realised it was one some people rarely have; those who remain in the safety of their past, their pain, their destructive habits. They will never know the grand adventure that is growth.

There is so much more I want to share, most importantly how I fought my way back from the brink and opened the door to new realms of possibility, consciousness and growth. It’s not just about acknowledging the conflict, if this is war then you will need armour and weapons to fight. It’s all coming up next week! As always, I would love to hear your feedback in the comments below.

Part 2: Winning the War

After an incredible response to last week’s post, I knew I had to follow it up with something amazing. Last week I spoke about the battle that exists in the human heart for your attention, joy and life’s purpose.

When you’re on a journey of growth and transformation, the enemy comes to confuse and to distract, to lead into temptation and lure into complacency and you must fight to reclaim your joy, your passion and your happiness.

Those who don’t realise they are at war have no hope, they will continue through their journey in a haze of fog and depression. Those who understand the battle will face even tougher challenges; the enemy will put up walls, cloud your judgement, place temptations in your path and you will have to constantly conquer your very own demons to live the life you were called to live.

The enemy will dredge up your wounds, he will use your deepest insecurities and fears against you, so how do we fight? How do we stand against the darkness within us? Here are some tactics I have found useful, it is my deepest hope that they will serve at least one of you.

Address your wounds.

There are emotional wounds that exist deep inside all of us, most inflicted in childhood, some in adolescence. It doesn’t matter how incredible your upbringing was, you were born into a broken world and the pain of that experience is inevitable. These wounds have the power to shape the people we become and influence our mental and physical realities.

The surest indication of your emotional wounds lies in the moments you feel hurt, angry, jealous or any other manifestation of the ego. Any time you lash out at someone for something insignificant, when you find yourself spreading rumours or gossip about someone you love or when a small rejection stirs up a sense of heart-wrenching inadequacy, that is when you know you have stumbled upon a deeper pain. You could be forgiven for thinking these are completely normal responses, it is incredible how unconscious reactions like anger and fear become in our everyday lives. While it is completely normal to experience emotions, it is always our decision how we let them affect us. We live in a world that normalises insecurity, anger, anxiety and fear as part of twenty-first-century life. Inner peace eludes most of us when it is our birthright.

Address your wounds, see them for what they are - memories, thoughts, and ideas about yourself that no longer serve you. They do not define who you are or what you can achieve and they will have no power over your future unless you let them. Don’t just resist them, heal them. The more you ignore your pain, the stronger its hold on you becomes. It will begin to infiltrate every aspect of your life and prevent you from any form of self-actualisation. This is when the battle I spoke about last week arises, when your pain rises asking to be healed and is met with ignorance or submission. So how do we begin to heal?

Know your kryptonite.

Let us lay aside every encumbrance and sin which so easily entangles us and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.

Hebrews 12:1

Get to the core of your temptation, take it out and examine it. How does the enemy try to weaken you? How do you deal with your pain? Do you run from it, feed it, try to numb it with sex, alcohol or other people? Become acutely aware of any behaviour that doesn’t nourish your soul or serve your higher self. Behaviour that is unproductive at best, and destructive at worst. If you’re not sure if something is destructive ask yourself, does it empower me or drain me? Does it nourish me or deplete me? Does it make me feel good about myself or question my worth? Does it help me run toward the life I know I deserve or does it get in my way?

Your dreams are as hungry as your demons. Make sure you are feeding the right ones.

Resist temptation in all its forms and be acutely aware of who or what is your God. We all worship something, regardless of whether you’re religious or not, but the force you devote yourself to has an incredible influence on the way you live your life. Are you in an intimate relationship with your work, your money or your iphone? Do you worship your partner? Do you define yourself based on your worldly success? These are dangerous pursuits that only serve to fulfil us temporarily. Until your loyalty, your identity and your happiness are derived from the Source of all life, you will go hungry, you will succumb to temptation, and you will remain bound by the wounds of your past.

With a highly addictive personality, I can be so easily distracted by social media and pop culture. Like everything in this world, these platforms are neutral and can be used in service of love or fear, it is our responsibility to recognise when a normal behaviour has become an addiction. When you are spending all your time on Facebook, when you are more concerned with how you appear on Instagram than how you treat people in real life, you know there is an imbalance that needs to shift.

Spend time with God.

Set aside ten minutes every day for meditation, prayer, journalling or anything that disconnects you from the voices of the world and allows you to tune into the wisdom of heaven. If you are in the thick of battle, facing attacks on your motivation, your energy and your happiness, use worship as a weapon. Say ten gratitudes before your feet hit the floor in the morning and any time during the day when you feel attacked. It doesn’t matter if you are saying them through gritted teeth, if every word that comes out of your mouth feels like a painful lie, say it anyway. Love and honour yourself no matter what. If you give in, if you slip up, do not let shame or guilt overwhelm you and keep you stuck, be kind to yourself and fix your eyes ahead.

The person who does not take up the sword of the spirit will lose in the battle for his or her body.

John Piper

Replace destructive habits with fulfilling ones. Find a new hobby, volunteer, and fill your time with activities guaranteed to nurture your soul. Don’t spend too much time in your head, open up to others, talk it out, and be around people who make you feel empowered.

Here’s something I wrote last week as everything was coming to a head, I hope it will help you face your demons right now.

There is a battle raging in the heavens over my soul. I can hear God’s voice. When my eternal question arises, Who will fight for me? Who will desire me? He answers, firm and loud and strong, ‘I will. You are mine.’ An immense sense of pride and adoration comes over me as if I am being swept off my feet. I have watered the fruits of the devil for too long and I need to feed my soul with worship and praise. I have flirted with the enemy, I have questioned my faith, I have downright betrayed my heavenly saviour but He comes anyway. He is there, leading the charge of all the angels in heaven against the dark forces of temptation and lust and sickness and God’s army is winning. Although I have grown weary and stood on shaky ground for weeks, I felt God say to me tonight that - just like the dawn of a new day is almost upon us - so too is the fight for my heart. The enemy is growing weak, the more I look him dead in the face and shout God’s praises, the more I throw my heart into worship and meditation, the more I use my hunger to draw closer to God, the stronger our relationship becomes and the less the enemy will challenge me. He is cleansing me, He is getting ready to use me greatly; at Schoolies, at work, in my family, and among my friends and He is making sure I am up to the challenge. If I can defeat the enemy of heaven, no earthly forces will hold a candle against me.

What you’re going through is nothing compared to what is within you. You are the light that illuminates the shadows. They’re all figments of your imagination. Take them out and examine them. No matter what happens, you have the grace to accept it, the courage to withstand it and the strength to move through it.