You are on the cusp of something amazing; a promotion, a new relationship, a business that you have been so excited to launch and suddenly your motivation flatlines, you lose all sense of interest and you find yourself spending all day in bed watching Netflix and devouring a block of chocolate. Sound familiar?
When I started turning my life around – practicing yoga and meditation, surrounding myself with amazing people and investing in my evolution – and experiencing the joy, peace and goodness that inevitably followed, it was exciting, but also scary as hell. I found that I could only stay ‘on track’ for a certain amount of time before I took a detour or backslid completely.
Every time things started picking up – my relationships were thriving, work was great, I was eating well – I was so afraid that I would be caught off guard and plunged back into darkness, that I started looking for ways to fuck it up. I’d pick a fight with my parents, go out and right myself off or spend an entire day in front of the TV.
So why the hell, in a culture so obsessed with finding happiness, was I ruining my chances of experiencing it?
Because it feels vulnerable to feel good and were afraid it won’t last. Because positive feelings like joy, happiness, bliss and abundance are seriously powerful and that kind of energetic current can shake up our emotional structures.
It wasn’t until later that I realised I was doing what Gay Hendricks calls ‘Upper Limiting’. Hendricks’ theory suggests that there is a certain level of joy, success and happiness that we can tolerate and if anything happens to supersede that limit, we will – consciously or unconsciously – self sabotage. When our external reality exceeds what we believe we’re worthy of (things get ‘too good to be true’), it’s as if a wire trips in our brain and we short circuit, snapping back to a state of being we feel more comfortable in. They key to overcoming our upper limits, according to Hendricks, is to increase our sense of self worth and thus expand our ideas about what we’re worthy of experiencing.
For some, this work is simple. They can grow effortlessly, making minor adjustments along the way and not thinking too much about it. But for those of us who have known darkness, and are coming – perhaps for the first time in this earthly experience – into light, there is an adjustment period. It takes time to embody this new – higher – state and feel comfortable maintaining it.
When I imagine my journey, I picture a spiral staircase. The work I did at the beginning was getting me from the basement (depression, anxiety, addiction) to the ground floor. From there, I could start to climb. And the higher I go – the more I expand my ideas about what’s possible – the more excited I get about the fact that it really does just keep getting better.
These days I can sit comfortably in euphoria, and as Life rises to meet my expectations, and my dreams and visions continue to manifest at lightning speed, I continue to expand my sense of self worth so I can accomodate these new – lighter – states of being. With each “levelling up”, I check in; Do I believe I’m worthy of experiencing this new level of success, happiness and abundance? Can I sit with these feelings of excitement, gratitude and joy without attaching to or depending on them?
How much joy can you tolerate? Are you avoiding making the necessary changes in your life that you know will elevate you to a new level of joy, success, bliss and abundance because you’re afraid of what that will mean? The following exercise, which I learned from one of my fave people on the planet right now, Peta Kelly, has been as absolute game changer for me:
Rather than consciously – or unconsciously – looking for things that could go wrong, flip it around by asking yourself, “How does it get any better than this?” Eventually, you will re-train your subconscious mind to look for opportunities to expand into new realms of happiness. Couple this with consistently cultivating self love and turning up your worth-o-meter, and there really is no limit to the kind of love, joy, success, bliss and abundance you can experience in this lifetime.
Want to overcome your upper limits so you can expand effortlessly into the infinite potential you know exists inside you? This is one of my zones of genius and one my FAVOURITE areas to work on with my coaching clients. Click here to book your FREE 30 minute consult to see if coaching is right for you. There is no obligation to sign up until you decide what is right for you and you would be amazed at the life-changing breakthroughs you can have in just 30mins of one on one conscious conversation 😉
It is safe for you to be happy. In fact, it’s your birthright. There is no such thing as ‘too good to be true’. You are worthy of the best this life has to offer. Full stop.
How does it get any better than this? I intend to find out.
All my love,