“How do I find my tribe?”
A few years ago I was asking this exact question. I had just done a ruthless cull of my social circle and there were very few people left. I was coming home to myself and strengthening my self love muscle, but I felt really alone. I spent most Saturday nights at home with my journal, ignoring all the texts and booty calls coming through on my phone, ‘Come out tonight.’ ‘Are you out?’ ‘Where are youuuu???’ until eventually they stopped coming.
Once I had a sense of who I wanted to be and the kind of life I wanted to live, I started seeking out experiences that my ideal self would love. I looked at the kind of people I wanted to be, where they hung out and what they did for fun.
I started going to events and workshops by myself. I got over the stories that told me, ‘I’m not good enough’ ‘I’m not there yet’ ‘I won’t fit in’ and I showed up. I sat in the front row and I took notes from people who were living the life I wanted to live.
While I was there I spoke to people. I asked for their number, I added them on Facebook, I realised they were just as hungry for connection as I was. I reached out to girls on social media and offered to buy them a green juice. Not with the expectation that I would get anything from them, but with a genuine desire to get to know them on a deeper level. The Universe honoured my bravery and placed the exact people I needed on my path, but I had to show up first.
These days I have to pinch myself when I think about the incredible humans who surround, love and support me. They truly are the next generation of conscious leaders and game-changers and I am so grateful to be doing life with them.
Here are a few ways I called in my tribe;
1.One of the best ways to attract amazing people is to be one! What does your ideal friendship look like? What qualities do you want in a friend? Now take a good hard look in the mirror, are you embodying those qualities yourself in every area of your life? If you want a bestie who is generous, start shouting coffee more often! If you want someone who listens to you, become the best goddam listener on the planet. Think about all the qualities you want in your new friendship group and do your best to embody those qualities in everything you think, say and do.
2. Let go of the friendships that no longer serve you. When your energy is tied up in maintaining draining and toxic relationships, you don’t have room for new people to come in. When you stop saying yes to the people who bring out the worst in you, you make space for new people and experiences to come into your life.
3. Be okay with being alone. If you don’t like your own company, you won’t trust anyone else who does and you’ll most likely sabotage your relationships when they reach a certain point. Learn to love spending time with yourself – fully experience all of your amazing qualities and see how wonderful you are to be around, then invite certain people whose energy aligns with yours to share in some of the magic.
One of the reasons we decided to host Unbound, was to give women the chance to meet their soul sisters. I know how great it feels to be in a room full of like-minded women and strike up a conversation with someone you feel like you’ve known for lifetimes. This is your chance to get amongst people who get you and inspire you to become the person you want to be.