One of my beautiful clients had the most epic breakthrough recently and I just had to share it with you. She’s a mama of three beautiful kids and was struggling – like so many of us do – with not having enough hours in the day and feeling overwhelmed by her to do list. It was affecting her relationships and getting in the way of her goal of living in the present moment and fully soaking up the juiciness of her life and amazing family. In our first session she told me about how she desperately wanted to simplify her schedule, but there was nothing she could bear to get rid of.
I asked her to go away and have another look, to see if there was anything she’d missed. By our second session her outlook changed completely and she came back to me beaming with pride. “I realised that I couldn’t get rid of anything in my schedule because I really love everything in it,” she said with a massive smile on her face, “I have a new appreciation for my routine because I realised I created it like this for a reason. Take driving the kids around, for example. We decided to enrol them in after school activities because we want them to have the best opportunities for the future and I’m actually really glad they get to socialise with their friends and do the things they enjoy.”
“Now I don’t think of it as though I have to drive my ten year old to soccer, I decided that I get to spend an hour of uninterrupted time with my growing boy in the car – where we can talk about how he’s feeling and what’s going on in his life. It’s completely changed my perception and I feel so much more in control of what I’m doing. Instead of rushing from one thing to the next without thinking, I can appreciate all the parts of the life my husband and I designed.”
She went from being a slave to her schedule, to the creator of it. How much more empowering is that? The moment she shifted into this new state of mind, she found that instead of falling into bed exhausted at the end of a long day, she had time to kiss the kids goodnight and spend some quality time with her partner.
Now, she has officially eradicated the word ‘busy’ from her vocabulary.
We get so caught up in our routines, we often forget that we chose all the external elements that make up our lives; our job, our relationships, where we live, our schedule – and we can change them whenever we want to.
It’s almost second nature when someone asks us, “So, how’ve you been?”
We have this idea in our heads of how parenting or ‘being an adult’ is supposed to look. Everyone else is running around, so I better jam enough activities, chores and goals into my schedule so I have to run around too. And yet, how much of it is really necessary for a rewarding and fulfilling life? If you Google ‘busy’, the word itself means, ‘full of distracting detail’. Bam. What pointless activities are you allowing to distract you from what really matters?
I have a pretty cruisey schedule – I designed it that way. I like to have time to smell the roses and I hate the feeling of being rushed. I used to feel guilty for having so much time on my hands to do all the things I wanted to do – coffee on the beach, mid-morning gym sessions, afternoon swims in the ocean – and then I realised that everyone has the same ability to design the life they want to live.
It doesn’t matter if you’re wrangling a house of five or living the single life, you are the almighty creator of your one precious life. If your job is draining you, choose again. If your routine doesn’t make you want to jump out of bed in the morning, create a new one (and fill it with all of your favourite things). If driving your kids around is making you miserable, either remind yourself why you want them to do after school activities OR cut back on the extra-curricular’s. (Trust me, your kid would prefer a parent who is present and excited to be there for them over an extra gymnastics class any day).
There is nothing in this life that we have to do. In a world of infinite possibility, we have been gifted the power to choose what we want to experience as part of our reality. That’s where the fun begins.
What are you going to create?
All my love,