So… you may have seen on instagram that on Saturday I went to a nude yoga workshop in Darlinghurst with Rosie Rees. I’ve been following Rosie on social media for a while and love all her stuff so as soon as I saw she was bringing her workshop Sydney, I knew I had to be there. After doing so much work on healing my relationship with food and my body last year (which you can read about here), it seemed like the perfect opportunity to celebrate how far I’d come while also taking me even deeper.
Everyone was asking me leading up to the workshop if I was nervous (none of my girlfriends would come with me) and most seemed genuinely surprised when I said I wasn’t. I was so sure I was meant to be there, so I was more excited to see what was going to unfold.
The day of the workshop was massive in and of itself. I was speaking at a women’s brunch in the morning so was up early preparing food and getting myself organised when I saw on snapchat that my ex was getting married. Woah. A year ago something like that would have floored me but – thank you Jesus – I was able to let it go (after watching the snap stories 2473834 times, let’s be honest). I had actually registered for the Sunday workshop, but put my hand up when Rosie asked if anyone wanted to change. I wasn’t sure why at the time, but that’s when it all made sense (thank you Universe). The brunch and the panel went amazingly well, and before I knew it I was heading into the city.
The second I walked in Rosie gave me pretty much the best hug I’ve ever had in my life. It literally felt like she pierced through a wall in my heart and melted it. Watching her move around the room, the first thing that struck me was her presence, she is the embodiment of the Divine feminine; the graceful strength, the quiet power. It was a sight to behold.
A few other women walked in and that’s when the butterflies started; it was pretty surreal making small talk with a girl your age knowing you’re about to see her naked. I snuck up to the bathroom and that’s when the self doubt kicked in, Am I wearing the right thing? Will I stand out? Should I have shaved for this? Despite the voice in my head, I made a promise to myself then and there that I was going to just notice everything that came up for me without judgement and trust that I would get whatever I needed to out of the experience.
The energy was palpable as we entered the studio; calming, sensuous and Divinely feminine. I picked a spot in the circle to put my mat and then chose an Angel card from the centre of the room.
The Goddess of Awakening; this is a wondrous time of exploration, romance and creativity. Your Feminine creative spirit is being nourished and awakened by the star of Venus.
I don’t want to give much away because I think every woman should experience this for herself, but as we began with a guided meditation and the robes and sarongs came off, I sneaked a peak at the women in the circle around me and what I saw took my breath away.
I bore witness to a raw, untamed power unlike anything I have ever seen. It was tribal, primal and the most natural, beautiful thing in the world.
Visions of women coming together throughout history, to connect with one another and the earth in sacred rituals, gatherings and ceremonies flashed through my mind. I get now why hundreds of years of patriarchy has tried to suppress, degrade and disconnect us from our feminine essence. This shit is powerful. If every one of us embodied this power in every aspect of our lives, the world would change overnight.
We shared stories about body shame, eating disorders and the endless search for validation in relationships and sexual promiscuity. As each woman shared her story, the rest of us sat there nodding in recognition and understanding. We really saw her, and she was us.
Looking around the room, I was filled with this deep reverence for the female form. We all looked so different, yet every single one of us was unbelievably stunning. I don’t know how we’ve managed to narrow our ideas of beauty down to one image, because nothing could be further from the truth. I also realised that despite my history, I have never really been intimate with anyone. I’ve taken off my clothes and gone through the motions but I have never experienced the kind of real, deep physical and emotional intimacy that I caught a glimpse of in that room. Not with a partner at least. It made me excited to think that I haven’t even scratched the surface when it comes to the kind of connection and pleasure that we are capable of experiencing in these physical bodies.
As we moved into a beautiful Yin yoga practice, I cried with relief at how much shame I have already let go, of how much more time and energy I have to spend on things that make me happy (instead of obsessing about my ‘flaws’), and of how grateful I am that I get to do this work now instead of in ten years time.
Rosie encouraged us to explore whatever sounds wanted to come through us. Some women let out beautiful orgasmic sighs, some roared and others hummed with vibrant life. I was in shock when a childlike giggle burst from my lips. It was the most innocent, pure, kind of bubbling laughter that reverberated through my whole body. I was a pretty serious child – I don’t actually remember ever giggling like that, but I knew it was the little girl inside me letting go of her shame, fear and seriousness and coming out to play. The innately sexual part of me that had been suppressed, misunderstood and mistreated my entire life began to emerge in all her glory.
As we rolled up our mats after sharing our thoughts about the night and some incredible food, no one was in a rush to get dressed. We walked around chatting and laughing with one another, and it made me realise how deeply we have been conditioned to ‘cover up’ physically and emotionally and how good it feels to let those guards down. I wanted to stay in that room forever.
I stayed at a girlfriends that night – it was the perfect place to have a debrief over champagne and chocolate. I fell asleep with the biggest smile on my face and wholeness in my heart.
Something has shifted within me. I felt it on Saturday night, the next morning and I can feel it sitting here now – this energy in my womb – it’s guiding me, calming me and fuelling me all at the same time.
My To Do list got mysteriously deleted from my phone and computer (twice) and I’m receiving all this money out of nowhere with nothing but gratitude. I know I’m awakening the Goddess within – she wants to create and dance and breathe and rest and receive and play. She wants to surround herself with beautiful things. She wants to surrender and serve. Right now she wants to go watch Friends on the couch. She’s beautiful, untamed and deeply powerful, and I’m already madly in love with her. It’s the kind of love where you know things will never be the same again…
All my love,
Rosie will be on the Gold Coast and in Brisbane later this year. I’m booking my mama, sister and bestie in for a workshop. They don’t have a choice, but you do 😉 You can get all the info and book your spot here.