Let’s get some closure shall we?
This year was massive. Who else feels that? It seems like everyone I speak to is still reeling and wondering, ‘What the f*** just happened here?’ This has been one of the most trying but truly transformational years of my life, and I can see that mirrored in the collective. We’ve all been forced to deal with some long-repressed wounds that have been lying latent in the subconscious. We have been continuously tested and triggered, and called to do the deep healing work necessary to move into this next stage of our evolution.
For me, so much of what has happened this year has been internal. For once in my life, I’m not defining the success of the last twelve months by the content I’ve created, the money I’ve made or what size I am in time for summer. I feel accomplished and unbelievably proud, but all because of the resilience I’ve built, the mindset I’ve cultivated and the inner peace that permeates my being. I’m not defining or valuing myself based on what I’ve achieved, but on the person I have become. In a culture that appraises us solely on our ability to produce and consume; How much did I make this year? What ‘stuff’ did I manage to accumulate? I feel like I’ve outdone the system, while also exposing the BS conditioning that’s been behind it all along.
When depression knocked me out of the game earlier this year, I learnt pretty quickly that despite all the ‘work’ I had done finding my purpose and dropping everything to follow my passion, I was still completely missing the point. The addiction to achievement that had been programmed into me from day one was distracting me from what really mattered. I realised that my worth wasn’t dependent on the number of clients I worked with or blog posts I wrote and I didn’t have to run myself into the ground trying to ‘save the world’ in order to earn my place on this planet. I remember that life is essentially playful and that, despite our best efforts, none of us are actually going anywhere.
So I started doing things just because they brought me joy; dancing, drinking coffee, taking an hour to do my make up. I fell in love with the process and dropped my attachment to the end result. My desire to make a difference has deepened, but I create because I want to, not because I feel like I have to. I realised that some wounds don’t need to be fixed, they just want to be felt. I discovered that the path to success isn’t an upward trajectory but an unpredictable roller coaster with plenty of loop-de-loops and downhill slopes thrown in. And while the free falls of failure are painful, they are all worth it. Because it means you’re trying. It means you’re awake. It means you’re doing shit that matters.
Having come out the other side, it’s hard to feel anything but grateful for the months I spent engulfed in the battles of my mind because I can see how much I’ve grown because of it. I feel infinitely lighter, more expansive and the roots of my happiness reach deeper than ever before. It’s funny, I used to think that the many facets of melancholy were so much more interesting than happiness. That if I were happy, I would somehow be bored. Having been to both ends of the spectrum this year, I’d choose the ever-changing hues of joy, light and peace over and over again.
Whatever this year brought up for you, now is the time to reflect, recap and put to rest. Give credit where it’s due, be liberal with your gratitude and even more so with your compassion. Grab a pen and piece of paper and ask yourself,
What did I learn, about myself? About the world?
What did I do, create or experience that I am really freaking proud of?
How have I changed? In what ways have I grown?
What qualities did I embody?
What word would I use to describe this year?
In 2017, I’ve decided I’m not going to hustle anymore. I’m really tired of running around trying to ‘make shit happen’ and smashing head first into brick walls. I’ve realised how much our collective conditioning says that life has to be ‘hard’ and after twenty four years I’ve decided to let that go. It doesn’t serve me, so I’m not choosing it. It doesn’t mean I’m no longer working for what I want but the work I do will be inward healing rather than outward hustling. I understand now that if I want to manifest something in my reality, I don’t have to go looking for it, I just have to open myself to receive it. My core desired feeling is magnetic. And damn that feels good.
As I move further into alignment with my soul’s mission, I feel like my business is moving in a different direction. The ‘why’ is the same – awaken, enlighten and inspire the next generation – but the ‘how’ looks different. It includes finding your purpose, but it also expands beyond it. I’ve been listening to my soul and it’s telling me to write about what I know, what lights me up like nothing else; topics like mental health and spirituality, addiction and creativity, God and sex. It wants me to give you – with no holds barred – the exact tools and strategies I’ve used to quite literally change the trajectory of my life, so that your journey is as meaningful, powerful and freaking blissful as it can possibly be. So get ready for brand new content, epic resources to support your journey, and a new website so stunning you’ll never want to leave.
2017 is going to be massive. For all of us, and our planet. If we surrender to the unfolding and grow where we’re called, we will move through it with grace and power, consciously creating whatever we want at lightning speed. If we resist, we will be at the mercy of collective chaos. To make the most of the accelerated expansion and transformative energy on the planet right now, use these questions to set crystal clear intentions for the New Year,
How do I want to feel?
What is my soul craving more of?
What do I need to let go of?
What am I ready to call in?
If anything was possible, what would I do, be, create and experience this year?
This is it my love. Another revolution around the sun in our own little fragment of time and space. Thank you for all your incredible love and support this year. In the grand cosmic game that is life on this planet, there is no one I’d rather be playing with.
All my love,