This is the story of the time God spoke to me on my balcony. It’s the story I tell when someone asks me how I had the guts to up and leave the path of self destruction, neurosis and what ‘the world’ wanted me to do, and forge my own instead.
It was coming towards the end of a ‘wellbeing day’ that I had to re-connect and focus my intentions after a busy couple of weeks. I had been feeling extremely connected to the Universe all day, every step I took and decision I made was filled with purpose and Divine intention. My writing was flowing freely and with ease; it was one of those days I felt as though I had a book inside me and if I just sat at my computer and kept typing it would present itself to me, complete (and it probably would have if I didn’t physically shut my computer and go to the gym). I was sitting on my balcony with a cup of tea, reading A Return to Love in my yoga pants and feeling pretty blessed.
At this point in time, I was about to start the fourth and final year of my Journalism degree. I had spent my summer doing work experience with a magazine in Sydney, I was Deputy Editor of an online magazine for women and I was a couple of weeks in to an internship with a major network newsroom. It was safe to say that I was doing everything right to secure my spot in the field. The only problem was, it was a spot I knew I didn’t want. You see, it was around the same time that I was starting to re-discover the world of personal development and spirituality. I was dabbling in meditation, practicing yoga and devouring every book and blog I could get my hands on.
I had learnt enough to trust that God had a vision for my future, but my own plans were pretty hazy. I knew at this point I wanted to start a blog where I could share everything I was learning and encourage people to realise their own infinite potential but I didn’t know how that would look as a career. I also knew that I wanted to live in Sydney. Brisbane – although I adored the incredible people I had met there – never really felt like home to me. With all this in the back of my mind, I kept plodding along in my routine, figuring I’d give myself another year of honing my skills as a writer and working to save enough for the move while I finished my degree then I could start living the life I really wanted to live. It wasn’t exactly an appealing decision to me, but it was a safe one.
As I sat there with my cup of tea, suddenly the thought occurred to me, ‘Why don’t you just do it now?’ My ego jumped in pretty quickly, ‘Because you’re not ready, you don’t have the financial stability, you don’t have the time, you’re too young and you don’t know the first thing about starting a business. Just put it off for another year and then you can re-assess, that’s obviously the logical choice here.’ But something inside me had been awakened and refused to be subdued. I stopped reading, closed my eyes, held the book to my chest and asked the Universe plain and simple, ‘Am I ready now?’
The response was overwhelming.
It was as if the heavens opened up in that moment. An incredible sense of purpose, excitement and uncontainable joy (the magnitude of which I still haven’t been able to replicate to this day) flooded through my entire being. A massive smile spread across my face and I actually started giggling out loud. I saw my Grandma (who had passed away two years before) smiling, and I felt God give me an unmistakable and resounding, Yes. Images flashed through my head of my blog, and me proudly sharing the link with family and friends. I saw myself standing on stage talking to hundreds and thousands of people and taking days just like this one to reflect, meditate and share the messages I was receiving with the world.
As the fear and self-doubt washed away I felt excited, limitless and safe. In that moment, I could plainly see the beauty, light and wisdom that existed not only in me, but in every human being on the planet. It was a glimpse of Heaven and of God within me. As I opened my eyes, the mountains and trees before me were bathed in golden light. I got the impression that God was showing me the future that awaited me if I followed Him. It wasn’t an invitation to join any particular ideology or religion, but to leave my old ways behind and start following the guidance of my soul.
I made the decision then and there to quit my internship and use every cent of my savings to enrol in an eight week online business course run by the formidable Marie Forleo. It was, along with my decision to become a Beautiful You Life Coach, the best investment I have ever made.
What followed were a few days of inspired action. Quitting my internship was definitely the scariest part; sending the email felt a bit like jumping out of a plane. I had no idea what I was going to do apart from ‘start a blog’, but there was no denying that what I received was a direct message from Heaven and I knew that when I took that leap of faith, God would give me wings.
Since that afternoon, I have been lead by what I like to call my Internal Guidance System (the GPS of my soul) on journey of a lifetime. There have been tears, tantrums and traumas but through it all I have been supported, nurtured and guided to heights greater than I ever thought possible (and I’m only just getting started). Of course there are times when the voices of the world hijack my conscience and I veer off track, but I am quickly brought back by some event or obstacle that reminds me that God sees way more from His perspective and it’s going to be a hell of a lot easier with Him leading the way.
Starve the ego, feed the soul.
It doesn’t matter how passionate or committed we are at the start, our ego will always try and plant seeds of doubt in our mind about why we can’t go after what we really want. Some people believe it’s our subconscious trying to keep us safe, I believe it’s a supernatural force (re-enforced by a very real and very pervasive culture) trying to keep us sedated. Either way, the only antidote is to continually recommit to our Truth. There are moments every day when I am distracted by the impulses of my ego rather than guided by the murmurs of my soul but each time I make an effort to re-align my thoughts, words and actions with my true desires, and even though I can’t see the whole staircase, the path keeps unfolding for me one step at a time.
I wanted to share this story as a reminder that Divine guidance is only a prayer away and that in His infinite wisdom, God uses everyone to do His work here on earth. At the time this was all happening I was still getting drunk every week end and sleeping with anything that moved, but God saw something in me that I had lost in myself. He saw potential, He saw promise, He saw a purpose.
Sometimes our soul speaks to us in grand moments of enlightenment, sometimes it’s smaller synchronicities or a feeling of excitement and pure joy, but when you tune into that wisdom and start taking action on the messages you receive, that’s when the magic happens. This is what we mean we talk about bringing heaven to earth. It’s not some esoteric religious BS, it’s an invitation to bring the love, compassion and beauty that abounds in the metaphysical world of the infinite into the physical realm of the relative. It’s an invitation to be in communion with the army of angels who are ready and waiting to assist us in every moment.
Whenever I’m tempted to stray from my path, I think back to that day on my balcony and how much has changed since I said Yes to that calling. How many wounds have been healed, how many miracles have been worked in, around and through me. It flaws me on a daily basis.
In whatever way your soul speaks to you, listen. If you’ve never heard it, don’t be afraid to start the conversation. It’s there waiting for you, in the seconds before sunrise, in the silence before sleep, in the stillness of surrender.
It’s calling you home.
So much love,